This is a picture of a hollogram at a place called Camera Obscura...there are a few around the the world.This one is 5 floors of the craziest images,textures, optical illusions, psychadelic drawings, weird photography and the first form of cctv....hard to explain but check them out if you ever have the chance..feast for the senses.

It is only fitting that I finsih this year with writing on my blog.I have had the most mind blowing year.here are just some things to think about...

· Keep focused on your goals; it is too easy to get lazy which will slow you down.
· Tie as many loose ends as you can and LET GO!
· Procrastination and assumption are the mothers of all Fuck ups.
· Never forget who your true friends are and NEVER neglect them.
· Be careful of impulses…wait, think and be patient.
· Emotions cloud your better judgement, so try change your perception of the situation.
· Do not let pride get the better of you; always ask for help when you need it.
· When you feel alone or misunderstood, remember that there are a billion other people who feel the same, therefore you are NOT alone and you are NOT misunderstood.
· You can do more than you think you can so do not quit just because it gets too hard.
· Love as much as you can because it is the only thing worth living for. BUT never expect it in return because love is unconditional.
· Spirituality is so vast and so infinite, so nurture your spirit for it holds the secret to true happiness.
· Be careful of judging others, because by doing that, you darken your own heart.
· Practise compassion because one day you will need some from someone else.
· Don’t frown because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
· Laugh. Laugh hard and long as often as you can, don’t be shy.
· Recycle because we are not using up resources from the past, we are borrowing resources from the future.
· Think of words as seeds, so be careful what you sow.
· Believe in something that does not hurt others.
· Eat for the experience not just to fill your gut.
· Spend time with nature even if it’s only your pot plant.
· Soak in a bath as often as possible.
· Use Mitchum deodorant, it IS the best.
· Music, time and exercise cure a broken heart.
· You must have at least one dish you can cook beautifully.
· By arguing over opinions you show your ignorance.
· Set yourself free by dancing, even if it’s alone after a shower.
· Cut your fingernails and toenails regularly.
· When you hug someone make sure you give them one they will remember.
· When you agree with the masses, it means it is time to reflect.
· Read The Power of One.
· You will learn some of your biggest lessons in life from your enemy so be grateful you have one.
· You can see who a person really is by the way they treat their animals.
· Forgive even if you cannot forget.
· People are very quick to criticise their own weaknesses in others.
· People tend to like the people that give them compliments, even if they are not always true.
· It’s the quiet ones that can make or break you…look out for those people.
· LISTEN! It is so important.
· Sandwiches always taste better when they are cut into triangles.
· Be sincere in everything you do otherwise don’t bother doing it.
· Learn to say no.
· The essential tools every chef needs, is their knife and a dishcloth.
· People who appear happy all the time and who everyone likes can often hide a lot or sorrow and insecurities.
· Jealousy hurts yourself more than anyone else.
· The is nothing more comforting that a plate of hot, fluffy and buttery mash potatoes.
· Honey is the only food that will never go off.
· There is no such thing as good and bad because good can also be a bad thing and bad can be a good thing in disguise.
· Sneezing is probably one of the greatest feeling in the world.
· Sighing out loudly is very calming.
· Freckles are beautiful.
· People like to believe the worst about people because it’s more interesting.
· Lemon juice is ALWAYS the secret ingredient.

and on that note...everyone have a fabulous new year and may the new year bring a mild hangover and a monster breakfast!

Old and young.Past and present.The End and the Beginning.
I am really looking forward to the new year.fresh start.Big plans. New year's resolutions.Parties and being broke.Every emotion, thought and inspiration in one.
My mind constantly wonders through the maze of life and everything in between.
I wish I had something fascinating to write but my brain consists of scrambled eggs and hundreds and thousands.To focus on one meaningful thought is like asking me to lick my elbow.not possible.

My temples are still taking strain from the weekend shenanigans(spelling?).My headache and sore throat are seaking relief from the magical potion of healing and all things good. If you could make one magic potion(that worked)...what would it be?Personally I do not like that kind of power...and let's face it I would probably be too lazy to make it anyway.
My right side of my body keeps twitching...why is that?

I love Fawlty Towers.It is, still, today regarded the funniest comedy series in the UK...and that is right up there with Curb your Enthusiasm and Larry David....milk and coffee! who would have thought!

anyway I am going to get back to nursing my beaten body.have a fab festivie season.AHOY!

It really feels like christmas season today. I can almost taste the roasted chestnuts and gluwein on my tongue.The frosty mornings and christmas lights are in full swing.Everyone is broke but happy. I'm not usually a very christmassy person but this year feels different...
I hope it snows.There is nothing more cosy than sitting by an open fire and watching the snow elegantly covering it's surroundings outside.Christmas should be about decadence and love.

I am craving hot golden brown pancakes with lemon juice, cinnamon and brown treacle sugar.To finish off the whole experience, I would love to be hugged.You know one of those big bear hugs that last for what seems like an eternity and where both bodies are pressed deep into one another.Nothing beats a proper hug.I love those spontaneous one's too, that catch you by suprise.The one's given by loved ones just because they want to let you know how special you are to them.

I always think of magical creatures in winter time.Maybe it stems from all the narnia books.Another absolute favourite child hood book collection was The magic Faraway Tree.Wow! With characters like moon face who gave you toffees which would grow biggerthe more you sucked them, then eventually it would explode in your mouth leaving nothing but air.Silky who baked hot biscuits that you would bite into and honey would pour into your mouth. At the top of the tree was a porthole into various differnt lands...like the topsy turvey land where everything is upside down...anyway if you haven't read it, you SHOULD!

ahoy!

I was going to upload my favourite video clip of all time but I have completely forgotten how to do it and apparently I cannot find out how I did it in the first place.Hence, the picture above...which I think is pretty cool anyway.
The trees look so neat and alien.I can picture little aliens that look like various fruit with arms and legs, running around at night with goggles and silver tanks on their backs with a very important mission...I dunno...maybe to find the missing lint ball that carries life saving bacteria or something...pfff!

Moving on...

If I was a type of fruit I would like to be a pomegranate. Thick skinned and plenty of juicy goodness inside.If the skin isn't enough I have plenty of protection inside in the form of ammunition. The seeds. I remember as a kid taking a huge mouthful of seeds and shooting them out of my mouth at my friends like a machine gun..I was quite the pro I might add..and not just pomegrantes but watermelon seeds too.My aim was spot on too. I always wondered what it would be like to be a sniper.

Of all the creamy liqueurs, I think Amaraula wins hands down...on the rocks, at dusk in the great outdoors.ah Africa!

Right, well...all the things I planned to write today have vanished from my head probably lost somehwere among the mucus collection in my sinuses(I know..great imagery...watch them swim..it's like seeing someone get sucked in by quicksand)
so I will leave whoever is reading this and make my way to la la land.
ADIOS!

This picture is titled Serenity. I do feel very serene on this monday frosty morning. Maybe it's because I have blocked ears and sinuses from being sick so the world seems a little hazey OR it could be the fact that I never left my house the entire weekend. What I have noticed, though, with all my chilling out is the fact that my thoughts tend to consume me. I get so frustrated at the fact that it is so easy to think bad thoughts about other people. They can do one small thing that will annoy you and with time, it develops into an intense almost violent rage towards that person.It's just too easy to plant that seed.anyhoo...

As I sit at this desk AGAIN, looking at this screen AGAIN and thinking about the summer sunshine AGAIN, I notice an atrocity. It is so bizarre to me...a hair piece. There is this girl who has a perfectly proportionate head of hair yet she still feels the need to attach a curly hair piece.It looks so weird.I can understand people who do not have hair and even performers but what the hell is she doing wearing it. You can see it isn't her real hair and it it looks like have man half beast...I don't know what to do with it...I must be getting old or maybe I missed out on a whole generation gap...wow!

ergh! My lips are cracked and starting to bleed..gotta love the winter.

I would love to have a slice of hot toast with mashed avo on toast with ground black pepper, lemon and a pinch of salt...ooh with a few slivers of sweet gouda cheese..I am SO hungry now.

It's christmas time, again ,time to be nice to the people you can't stand each year...Blink 182...Why would you bother being nice to those people?ok it's time to do some drawing and letter writing to the people I DO care about. I have to give them a large dose of my nonsense to keep them going for the week...who knows what could happen if the people I loved were to survive without their dodgey dose of me...dangerous things could happen, people could die, lives could be destroyed..It's a tough job but someone's gotta do it..I'M COMING GUYS!!!! don't panic at the disco
....AND...
BREAK!

I'm staring at these gorgeous orangey-pink flowers with their open faces looking back at me.They seem so fresh and happy with their short existence in the glass vase. Life should be that simple...we should be content with so little but it seems the more we have the more we want. pffff! moving on...

AH! just saw the sweetest squirrel in the window flower box outside. Miniture Kangeroos..sort of.

November has been such an expensive month..christmas shopping and the fact that I always eat so much more in winter.For some reason I can't stop thinking about breakfast, A big monster plate of grease and goodness.All I have to snack on atthe moment is candy covered liquorice from Italy...not quite the belly tickler.

Johnny got a boom boom,Johnny got a bam....got that Imelda May song stuck in my head..take a listen to her if you can..you tube.

I think some wasabi peas should be bought just now...I have no beans to spill today.
BOOM! that just happened...
Ps. the Prey Mantis pic was put up because it looks like he is conducting an orchestra and I have a full on symphony going on in my head...NOT...I just think he is so cute..watch out for the spalt that follows...

A Perfect Winter Warmer

This is a really yummy dish I came up with. A seafood Cape Malay broth with King prawns, scallops, hake, yellow tail and calamari. Served with roasted coconut shavings, cayenne pepper and pickled limes.

My Main Man and Me

My main man and me

I wake to a tickling sensation on the back of my neck.
A gentle tap and pull on my shoulder.
He wants me to open my weary eyes.
He sighs and groans into my ear.
I open an eyelid and smile at his gorgeous face.

He talks to me with that husky gruff voice.
He wants to share this sunny summer day with me.
As I get up, he squeaks with joy and runs out into the hall.
It is definitely a day for sunbathing in the garden.
I change and make my way to the lounge.

He is waiting and pounces on me with excitement.
His whole bum wiggles with a shake of his stump tail.
He gallivants straight to our spot in the sun and barks,” Come!”
I get myself settled with my book and shades and look over to him.
He closes his eyes as he rolls onto his back to get some rays too.

After some sweating and panting we decide to get some water.
He follows me into the house with a huge grin on his face.
I make some lunch while he crunches away on his carrot.
I eat in silence, breathing in the jasmine and watch him.
He chases the bumblebees that dare to fly in his jungle.

As I sit and ponder the inner workings of my mind, he lies by my feet.
I look at this being who understands me so well.
His Cleopatra eyes stare back at me with unconditional love.
His whiskers shine in the afternoon light.
It’s time for more games.

He jerks up and howls at me to join him.
I giggle and say, “ Right, come on then…”
I chase after him into my moms’ freshly cleaned room.
The bed is beautifully made up for our wrestling session.
He pretend growls at me and we try to defeat each other with brute strength.

Ten minutes of screams and laughter go by.
The crisp sheets are now soiled with hair and fun.
We are both exhausted and lie in the lounge to rest.
Another productive and meaningful day.
A successful bonding day with my main man and me.

It is definitely a Monday morning that needs some green..it's all about the green.I even had some green peppermint tea already.AND I'm wearing a green ring...ok ok, so green is my favourite colour, so I tend to look out for it. A fact about the colour green...did you know that the colour green enhances whatever emotion you are feeling?If you are angry and walk into a green room, it will make you feel more angry etc... I have tested this theory out myself and it is true.

Right..moving on to something less colourful...Does anyone have an idea as to what I can do with a beanie that can only fit four of my fingers in it? I got it from a smoothie bottle, and now I'm stuck with it and it seems a really pointless item. It's amazing how much crap people collect.

Wow, my eyes are dry, I could do with some eye drops.

November has been a shocking month: dull, cold, uneventful and even the food I have eaten this month has been uninspiring. However, it is December. The month of indulgence, love and gluttony. I am starting the month by watching Dylan Moran, my favourite comedian, I can't go wrong.

Ok,now my right eye is twitching which is making the seemingly simple task of SEEING really difficult...

I realised my weekend was pretty dull when I said this statement:If I was a vegetable, I would marry a tomato because I love tomatoes so much.If I was a vegetable I think I would be spinach.

So I will leave it at that...

Getting into the swing of it...

Right...
I am finally getting into this whole blogging thing. I have checked out a few others and it seems people just talk about themselves and the experiences they go through etc...and there have been some killer photo's too, I already have some favourites.

It does feel bit weird though to tell a bunch of strangers about your life. I mean what makes my life THAT interesting to others...certainly not this rambling tip I'm on right now..hahahaha

um...So I read today about these four African elephants(I miss home...) who love metal music..apparently they get grumpy and throw temper tantrums the minute the music stops. Def leopard, Metallica and few others. You'd think that nature would want to hear something peaceful like Enya...maybe they are reincarnations of dead artists from that era..who maybe died of drug overdoses..

Anyway...let's delve into my senses right now:
*I smell nail polish(my nails are scarlett now)
*I taste green beans(from Kenya..way hey!)
*I am looking at my black key board..actually that's quite hard 'cos my eyes can see so many other things too..sometimes even things that are not really t here..but that's another story morning glory..
* I hear the hum of the heating and clicking of mice(for computers not the squeaking kind)
*I feel my cold toes in my green socks.

ok well that's all for now brown cow..

This was a dish I did once upon a time when I was a chef...CANDYBOX: Smoked Salmon lollipop, prawn popcorn with chilli and coriander syrup and date and almond bon bons with 5 spice ice cream..unfortunately I do not have a better photograph of the whole dish. This photo was taken by my head chef

I wish I was in Jamaica too..sigh

How I feel today:anticipation...

Find The Balance

It is a horrific feeling to know that you are not appreciated and treated with the love and understanding that you deserve.To be thrown aside with no useful explanation.To realise you are not part of something special anymore and you have to find the energy, again, to cope with this new life revelation.
It takes far longer to mend yourself and forget the hurt that the other person has caused. My heart has a few scars slashed over it from neglect and outright lack of respect. To this day I dip into that poisonous pool of despair and try to find the love behind the hurt.
I want them to hurt like I did, I want them to remember...I talk myself into believing that they still reflect and feel guilty about the way they treated me and, if ever, given the opportunity they would shock me with a genuine heart felt apology and few tears to show their remorse...But that's NOT the way life works..I have had to learn to let go and move on..no one is that big a person to put someone elses needs ahead of their own after a break up, of any kind.

I have sat there hearing the worst things I think about myself coming straight out of someone else's mouth. My own words cutting their way into my soul. I know I have been cruel. I know I have been cold. I know I am a scary human being. I know my words can be more than any human being could ever want to hear and could mean more to someone than life itself BUT I can take it all away with one flicker of my forked tongue.
I know you don't understand me. I know I make you feel worthless but,even I, am not sure how I do that.
I have sat there with hard eyes, hiding more compassion than you may ever know, BUT no strength to show you any of it.I feel the guilt far more than any one else could muster. This is far more damaging to me than it will ever be to you. I have very rational reasons for the things I have done but they all go out the window when I see those sorrowful eyes searching for the person they love so much but know they will never find again. BELIEVE me when I say that the disappointment is mutual. Even though I am weary, I am hanging onto every single word, fighting the urge to lash out and hurt you further because of my own ego.I know I have hurt you and I can see the future issues that will burden you, all because of my own selfishness.

They both make sense. They both are justified. They are both connected. The key to contentment is the middle path.Acceptance is the hardest and first step to understanding these emtions. Emotions are our obstacles. We need to learn to control them. We need to change our perception and association with them. This will bring you relief. This will fill the gaps of a broken heart. This will teach you to love unconditionally. This will bring about true happiness. This will help you let go and be free from the burdens you bare. This is finding your balance and inner peace.

NEMESIS

It glares at me through flickering slits. Searching for my weakness.
A sharp pointed nose. Sniffing for a whiff of my bleeding heart.
A juicy smirk. Taking pleasure in my imperfections.
A pricked up ear. Longing for some damning news.
It twists its claws. Anticipation for an attack.

My stinging weary eyes are on the lookout.
I smell the stench of betrayal.
I bite the same-blistered spot on my lip.
My burning red ears, hear only whispers and throbbing.
My shoulders clench from the burden.

It pulls me into its web of charm.
It smiles and compliments my vanity.
It allows me to feel its false security.
I am alone with this beast.
I am easy prey..Oh it is too easy!

To believe and to want, is a dangerous kingdom to be in.
To hold hands with a scar, is a sign.
To be lured and to feel safe, is fatal.
It is your wolf in sheep clothing.
It is your friend from the poison pool.

The similarities feel like daggers to my mind.
I know and understand you.
You are predictable in your scheming.
You hate me and I detest you.
We are in this cycle because we are, each, a half.

I pray for the calm of this black cloud.
Yet, it will only be the eye of the storm.
What karmic debt are we tied to?
I try to shake you but you hack your way back.
My pus-filled wounds have had enough.

You have been abandoned but not by me.
I have to rip you off from my flesh.
Your insecurity and envy, is not my own.
I must banish you from my thoughts.
You ARE my everlasting nemesis.
No longer!

By Samantha Webster

My Thoughts Feed

Blank.
Where has my creativity gone?
Distracted again… by a bite into a peach.
I have one rotting at home.
Waste not, want not.
Teachers and their wise and weird ways.
My black nail polish is coming off.
Trashy. Chavs. Innit!
I don’t get the jelly gut and hoopy earrings look.

My leg is going dead.
Pull up and re-adjust the stockings.
So un-lady like.
Jeez, I could nail a stick of celery and some hoummus.
Is that vulgar?
Beluga…delicious caviar.
Champagne and Russia.
Or is it Vodka and Russia?
Nah, champagne…vodka is my alter ego maker.
Maybe its depends on the company.

I could do with some great company now.
Maybe even a little harmless flirting.
Oh, to be single…the simple joys.
I have many joys…toys and boys.
My rhyming is very suggestive.
It is the common subject that always surfaces.
Sex. Naughty but nice.
With sugar and spice.
Ah man! Carrot cake.

Actually I am more of a savoury kinda gal.
I wonder why cheese tastes so damn good.
Fermented bugs and dairy.
Goes great with sweetness.
Hmmm…interesting.
Or great with pickles.
Yum. Hook me up son.
I wonder if a cannibal said that.
Flesh. Human’s fragile casing.
Skin. The largest organ of the body.
The tongue is the strongest muscle.
The elbow is the strongest bone.

I am a walking chappie paper.
Paper. Electronic paper. The next page is blank.
A start and a finish. I am complete.