Shoreditch Streets

The Big Buzz

I am a slave to my diary...sorry scrap that, my THREE diaries. Yes, I AM that busy and you WILL start noticing me metamorphasising into a little African bee. Working two jobs and building up a business is a constant source for buzzing wings. I have always had this...hmmm...what to call it?...let's go with the word: fascination, with comparing human beings to animals.
Some you can spot straight away in their obvious resemblances and some only show through their personalities or gestures. I have always wanted to be a wholesome, loyal dog but I was never a 100% convinced of this. Dogs are cuddly and simple, I am neither of those things. My complication comes from a place that is more swirling than cuddly. So I have decided that for now, the perfect animal to descibe me is, in fact, an insect... the African bee. I have quite a nasty sting and will have no qualms about defending my home and the people I love. However, I do produce the sweetest honey when treated well. What would the world do without us millions of hard working bees that never give up when life throws us challenges that just seem so unreasonable? Bees are extremely sensitive to their environment and spend their life working as a team with the sole purpose of creating a successful community or colony for future genrations to come.
I understand the bee and I have a lot of respect for this seemingly insignificant creature. Bees are an essential necessity to any healthy environment and that is why I don't blame them for all the painful stings I have had from them in the past or the fact that I am now highly allergic to their stings...hell, how can you when they die after stinging you?
Ok...now it is time for me to buzz off and be one with my diary.
Bzzzzzzzzz!

Wise Guys

I had my weekly catch up chat with my marvellous grandmother today. We are extremely close and share all our truths about the world and the funny things we have done. Today's topic was a book called Empty Cradles by Margaret Humphreys. It's about a generation of thousands of British orphaned children during the 1930's to 1940's, during the war,that were sent off to British colonies like Australia and Rhodesia with nothing more than their birth certificates because the orphanges were costing the government too much money to run. Most of the children were younger than 13 yrs old and were put to work like slaves on farms, often being raped and traumatised. The saddest thing is that most of these people still to this day have no idea where they came from and never had a childhood at all. They lost their whole identity and sense of heritage and family life. Britains big dark secret...read it!

They would be my gran's age today. As we discussed the book and what it would feel like to have no sense of belonging and purpose, I thanked my lucky starts once again for the privilege of having such a loving family and childhood. Most of my childhood also happened to be spent with my grandparents. There aren't enough words or pages to express the things I learnt and the life lessons they gave me. My grandfather was a man who gave up fortune and ego to be the best father and grandfather anyone could ask for. He seemed to be able to do anything and everthing. This picture was of his workshop where he made beautiful pieces of woodwork, fixed all things broken and spent hours dreaming up new creative projects to get his hands stuck into.

I love that older generation. They seem to be the concrete from which our current generations are lying on. People seem to forget how valuable their wisdom and insight can be. Not mention the wonderful stories of things I could not even imagine anymore in this day and age of technology and fast-paced living. And MAN!, are they a funny generation too. When you get to that age, you stop caring about what people think and really let loose, become a child again.
Cheers to all the Wise Guys out there...Salut!

The end is always good

Today is the day I walk down that eerie dark lane of my mind. I feel the familiar glowing eyes that watch me down the same path. I hear the whispers behind the trees, taunting me with their boring 'welcome-backs'.I feel the chill of the bitter wind over my skin.
We all have this space in our minds. As humans beings,we have this desire to lurk around in the shadows of our hearts, reliving hurts and burdens, because we need the reminder of how far down we can really go. When things work out the way we want them to in life, we question that and delve deep into the 'hidden' reasons why. We cannot accept that we have gotten the rewards that we asked for and move on. We question whether or not we actually wanted this in the first place. If we don't feel that instant gratification that we get when we do something naughty but fun, we down play the whole experience and start from scratch. Why do we doubt all our hard work that we put into elevating ourselves to be a better person..to be a free person!
So ladies and gentleman, fools and horses(?)...I'm walking along this dumb path, with the same aching head BUT at least I know this path has a happy ending. I can slip and slide in and out of this place, but my visits are getting few and far between and I know the shortcuts now.
This dark road serves a very useful purpose. It is a reference book of what we have to understand in order to appreciate what we have now. The more you hate this path, the more it sucks you dry and the more energy you feed it to grow stronger and bigger. Take a look see, remember what you came there for and move on to the finer, greener pastures of bliss and contentment. It exists and it's ALL YOURS!