Avoidance from dealing with our ego can lead to some seriously srange past times. When faced with failure in one area of your life, we naturally want to succeed at other things, no matter how daft or insignificant.
I am in one of these bubbles at the moment, floating above the heads of the fortunate and waiting for the big pop back to reality. I can't say that it is actually an unpleasant experience though. I'm teaching myself new skills, which helps combat controllable problems. For instance:
OATS: Yes, the dry stuff that they make porridge from...and no, I am not becoming the master porridge maker, because I already am (apparently I am working on inflating my head too...you gotta start somewhere, I guess). I have decided to make a homemade exfoliator for my skin. I crush up some organic oats and when you add a little bit of water, it becomes a grainy paste. Then you mix it with some overpriced 'organic' face wash and you got yourself a party on your face. It actually smells really comforting but it does still feel a bit like bathing in your breakfast. Which reminds me of my fantasy to bath in a big tub of warm creamy milk. That is EXACTLY how it sounds.
MOBILE BILL: Going through this process, I understand the importance of hassling people at all times of the day by calling them to talk about dribble. Running up a phone bill and chowing all my minutes sounds way more viable than dealing with the bruised ego of my mind. My biggest low for the day was talking about how I was tucking my shoelace into my shoe...it shouldn't have lasted that long, but it did and I am shamed. Luckily for me, most of the people that know me, think this is completely normal behaviour. Hmmmm..hold on...NAH!let's close that book again.
BINGE:We all have our reason for binging on food. We eat crap and we will justify it by saying we are only human afterall. I am the worst binger of all. I have never been able to do it correctly. While my friends were nursing their hangovers with copious amounts of grease and food mayhem, I would take a few bites and revert back to a carrot stick or a salad. When I'm hungover, I get healthier than ever. I buy the best pressed juices, binge on things like tomatoes, celery, seeds and lots of water. If I were to have some grease, it would have to be a clean(ungreasy) fried egg on seedy toast with greens, mushrooms, halluomi and grilled tomato. It's the same when I am denying myself reflection and forgiveness. I practically inhale things like raw peas, litre bottles of carrot juice, nuts and fruits rich in antioxidants. The naughtiest I will be is to have a chocolate and I will feel so ill afterwards, that I just counteract it with another handful of something nutritious. I really can be nauseating but it's just a nother quirk in a long line or...well...um...quirks? We all have our vices.
Roll like a ball: This is also known in Pilates as the 'Roll like a ball' exercise. Wow, so uncanny I tell you. Since I can remember, I liked lying on my back hugging my knees to my chest and rocking like a ball. I would even place something heavy like a foot stool on my knees while I watched TV, so that I could get the necessary feedback from both sides, that I was, in fact....a ball. Then many years later I got the opportunity to actually TEACH this motion. So every class this week I have taught this exercise. Maybe I was trying to get back to my roots of a foetus but it's a weird comfort I have. I see the world around me through different eyes and tap briefly into that silly side I can so often forget about.
So see..there are many ways to avoid the reality of facing your weaknesses and have a little fun too. Oh dear!...I see a rose bush in my path. *POP*
